Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Is it Confidence or Arrogance?


askmen.com... be a better man

Now since I am a women I felt this article could have baring on our human kind as well.  There have been times when I have been called arrogant....  am I....  I personally know that what I do in my life has come with great struggle and accomplishment.   I would have to say that there is a very thin line between arrogance and confidence. Some people that have called someone arrogant in ignorance, possibly have a hard time finding their own confidence. Now I am not saying that there aren't arrogant people out there... but with alot of reflection I can say with confidence that I am not one of them. Here is the information they gathered and refer to in the article linked above. What is your take?



Be Confident, Not Arrogant


How To Project Confidence Without Being A Jerk

There's an infinitesimally thin line between confidence and arrogance. Nobody enjoys being in the company of an arrogant person. Even arrogant people will admit they dislike pomposity — in others anyway.
The problem is that most people have difficulty differentiating between the two. You need to exude confidence, not cockiness. So what defines a confident person? What does arrogance consist of? And most importantly, how can you be one without falling in the other's trap?

calling a duck a duck

Before you can change your ways and see the light, you need to recognize what confidence and arrogance are. Unfortunately, our society encourages shrewd business deals and below-the-belt punches, which aren't the niche of alter boys. Confidence alone can and should get the job done, but it's often easy to fall prey to pomposity. Learn the difference.
Arrogant PeopleConfident People
View themselves as superiorBelieve in themselves and in their talents
Always know what's better for othersAre open about their objectives and potential
Are incisive in their transactions with othersAre gifted competitors
Never admit their mistakesAren't afraid to recognize their missteps
Revel in the blunders of othersHelp others correct their slip-ups

Confidence is a personal trait. A self-assured person doesn't care what others think about him. The arrogant dude, however, will be very conscious of how the world treats him. It is what fuels his smugness. He is the center of his world, which can often be a symptom of a buried feeling of inferiority. The only way he can value himself is by putting down those who surround him. The confident gentleman is therefore a sea of tranquility next to the antagonistic narcissist.
Here's the perfect balance you need...

perfect balance

There are certain guidelines to follow in order to achieve total confidence without radiating an iota of arrogance. These should be followed constantly, both at work and play.
Care about your appearance
Most people significantly care about how others view them. Although it was stated above that this was a trait of arrogant fools, there's a certain minimum you have to contend with. Dress for the occasion. A well-tailored suit in a power meeting can do wonders for your confidence. Look the part but don't be a bragging pest about it.
Smile sincerely
Don't simply flash a "look-at-me, I-make-more-money-than-you-losers," grin; show an earnest smile. Co-workers will regard you as someone who is joyful and pleasant, a person with whom they'd like to be involved with.
Show interests in others
Take a moment to ask colleagues about their weekend. The goal is to show them you don't feel superior in any way. It will make them feel important and demonstrate that you care about them. But don't do it as a mere excuse to bless them with your own stories.
Stay up-to-date
Stay on top of the events that are shaping the world. A large part of appearing confident is never hesitating. When a subject comes up, you need to be ready to jump in. It helps to have a multitude of interests and hobbies. At the same time, if you don't know what people are talking about, steer clear of the conversation.
Have an opinion
Similarly, make sure you have an opinion on key issues. Confident people aren't easily swept by peer pressure. If your belief isn't the most popular, have the courage of your convictions and stand your ground. Changing your mind at every occasion isn't the mark of a poised guy. Should you fall victim to it, you'll be branded an amateur. It can also come back to haunt you. Imagine two co-workers with whom you've shared two different opinions on the same topic. If they discover you're a shape-shifter, you'll be considered nothing short of opportunistic.
Expand your horizons
It may be important to build yourself a life outside of the office. With a well-rounded life, you'll feel much more confident and a lot more inclined to be assertive. Join a bowling league or the Optimists Club, anything that can garner some social interaction.
Be smooth with others
There are ways to deal with others to avoid being arrogant. For example, you might not agree with something your boss utters during a meeting. You may need to correct him, but do it without appearing brash. Don't make a point to mock him for his mistake, rather make it clear that you don't agree with him. Remark that you've made the same error before but have since come across new information that forced you to reevaluate your position. It's all in the way you present the situation.
Basically, what matters is that you can appear to be confident. Coolness is a virtual magnet for money, power and women. Everyone wants to hang around people who feel secure and positive. But if you can really be confident then the world will open itself up for you. Not only will you climb the proverbial corporate ladder faster, your relationship skills will be your greatest asset.

This is an article copied from http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/67_success.html