Today I want to share my journey, my story! If you are interested then stay right here.
I want to show you the last 11 yrs and how it's changed. I want to share with you the challenges and the successes. Why? Because I think it's important to see the good and the bad for balance. Ying and Yang... We all have our own stories. And I want to share mine.
A life where nothing was stable. A life where I had no set future. My goals had been removed by me allowing others to control them. 11 years ago you would have said, "Edie you are on a no win, dead end street... turn around and make something or yourself." I didn't believe I deserved much more than I had. So I had nothing to offer. I was bitter, angry and self loathing. Negativity was my life, it wasn't just party of my thinking... it was my thinking. I was the epitome of "The Eeyore Syndrome". I played tough and I worked even tougher. My work was my mask. Hard worker, always was. But I had nothing to show for it. Uggggg.... I felt a mess.
I know now that God had better plans for me and I just needed to stop fighting him. I was embarrassed to use the words from religion. I had anger in me, I never felt like I was enough or that I did enough... and matter of fact I always felt as though I was being judged on my actions... even if they were worthy or judging. Almost 9 years ago I met Ben. I am not going to say he was my knight and shining armor but good grief he may have been riding a horse. lol A different day had shown itself. I felt like I had when I was a child. Rambunctious and ready to take on the world. Something had shifted and to this day I am still not sure how or why, but it did. I woke up! Like literally woke up from a 37 year old nightmare that I had allowed to fester. It was the first time I felt I could smile. Smile without criticism. Smile without self doubt. 9 years ago was when my kids finally became my world. That the selfishness and anger subsided. I finally felt peace.
It took a few years to feel as though I mattered. To know that the love I had for my children is what would open up my heart again. Over 5 yrs ago I started my extended journey with Scentsy. Now again I am not saying that Scentsy has been my saving grace, but it certainly has been a catalyst to some pretty amazing things. This is also the time I started training, alot! I read and listened and learned all I could. Things about self love, self preservation, self improvement. I learned and learned and learned. I was like a sponge. It's also at that time that I ran into The Mind Aware Series. It was primarily geared toward direct sales training and how to make your business bigger and better. But at the same time the facilitator was pretty awesome. She would often talk about mindset and how we could dictate our feelings and the connection to what we were thinking at the time. This is what I called my Self Help phase..... my mind never stopped thinking....matter of fact, I think I thank myself into a tizzy.
I think at this point I had thought too much ... I realized that for as much learning as I had done that I needed to put what I learned into action. I had become a cereal trainer. It was also about that time, almost 2 years into selling Scentsy, that I was ready to quit. I was overwhelmed and tired. It wasn't that I wasn't doing well with my business, on the contrary, but I was burnt out already. I had trained myself into the ground and felt like I was pushing so hard to get sales. I woke up one morning, very similar to the time I woke up from my past, I knew it was time to make another shift. But this time is wasn't about moving or changing my life, it was about moving and changing my mindset. I knew it was time for me to implement everything I had learned in the previous 2 yrs and to stop selling Scentsy but to start sharing it. And shift I did!
Sometimes shifting is just an awakening. It seems to be a pattern of wake ups for me in my
life. I contribute them to the knocking that God has been doing all along. I guess metaphorically it's the knocking to let him in. Once I decided to share not sell and check my mindset I watched things pall into place almost effortlessly. I watched the movie The Secret and once more was awakened the the possibilities ahead of me. oh don't think I wasn't a tad bit skeptical cause I was. I tested the law of attraction against my religious beliefs. Once I understood that someone's use of the word Universe meant more to me as Universe being God then it all started to fall into place. My mind seemed to have a power. But it logically was started to make alot of sense. I was seeing changes. Then also understanding the difference between being positive and negative. Positive was forward moving, it was knowing how to cope, understanding that positivity didn't mean happy it meant overcoming obstacles. Negativity was what I so lovingly refer to as "The Eeyore Syndrome" ho hum... woe is me. Now I could focus on what I wanted instead of what I didn't want. It was all starting to fall into place.
You see, when you come from a place of self doubt, you tend to second guess often. My mindset shift made so many things possible for me and even when I self doubt or negative self talk, I always say.... but Edie, It's possible! When you allow yourself to see your past as your present, your gift, then that is when you can forgive yourself which in turn allows you to forgive others. You see we can stay in our past. It's there for a reason. I had to not regret my past but forgive myself for allowing things to happen. I used to say I was dealt a bad hand... but now I know that was me wallowing in self pity. I let those things happen, they were a choice. I also learned that our unconscious mind is our best friend and it will believe everything we tell it. So I decided to tell it a fantastic story. A story about a girl who inspired people. A story about a girl who was loving and caring and willing and able to help people. A story about a girl who achieved her dreams and helped others achieve their dreams. A girl who believed in the possibilities. a girl who could make a difference. So no matter what my past held and no matter how awful I used to feel... I have a new story.... a new way of feeling .... and it's Amazing!
Thank you for allowing me to share my story. We all have our times when we feel alone. But one of the biggest things I have learned in my life is that WE are NEVER alone.